Fine, I’ll Do It Myself

Greetings & Good Hello! Today is 30-Mar and my arraignment is scheduled for 10-April. My attorney did not show up on Thursday for a video call – this was quite aggravating. Let me walk you through this. The facility allows “video visits” for inmates on days based on your last name. Since my last name starts with W, I am allotted Thursdays. Thus, after noon on Thursday I hope that I will get called for an attorney visit, which is a video visit, but uses an entirely different system than the personal video visit system. That is to say, the only thing in common between attorney video visits and personal video visits is the fact that video is involved – personal video visits require the visitor to be sitting in front of the building, at a camera, with the video piped back into the cell area. The restriction on last names regulates access to the camera in the front room. Attorney video visits use a system that is paid for by the attorney and scheduled well in advance – the attorney calls in from a remote office and the inmate is seated in a special room. However, because both involve screens, the facility schedules them the same way – thus I am allowed to visit my attorney once a week, on Thursdays.

After the 1:00 call slot rolls by I hope I get called for the 3:00 call slot. When that passes without invitation I know there is one more chance at 7:00. The facility does not allow us to know the time – this helps keep is disoriented and mentally distraught, but we have ways of compensating. Some inmates can see a time icon on the common electronic services kiosk, and they occasionally call out the time. We can tell a lot by feeding times and watching the reflected glow off the sliver of sunlight that makes it through the covered window. Thus, around 7:00 I look outside my cell and see Valdez in the sallyport holding some papers. Clearly my attorney is not showing up this Thursday, 28-Mar-2024.

At 9:00 I go to the kiosk in the common room. This is our one hour of night “rec” when we all mob the phones and kiosk, take evening showers, get a little exercise walking up and down stairs, and run the inter-cell errands that keep us sane. With the facility blockade on books, finding something to read is a bit of an art. At the kiosk I confirm that my attorney has not bothered to let me know about the missed meeting.

I check again Friday morning, but still no update. Attorneys seem to hate talking to work product, especially over channels that leave traces. We are all starved for information.

I am now in a bind – if I am to request a continuance it needs to be filed by about the 3rd of April, well before my next potential video visit. I have no idea if my attorney will visit before then – he can’t be bothered to message me so probably not. This means there is a high probability I will be brought to court on the 10th in an effort to force me to plead against my will – simply by refusing to give me any options and putting me on the spot. The only option I can think of is to write my own motion and get it in the mail by Monday.

This is tricky since pens are contraband and the motion must be in ink. It is just one of those little tricks – you are free to “access to the courts” if you can first engage the local jail black market to secure a pen. Thankfully I have done just that – although I need to locate some shampoo and deodorant bottles first. By stripping the labels off of hygiene products and using rolls of paper you can strengthen a bare ink cartridge into a serviceable pen. This is how we access the courts in America.

I write a couple of drafts of my motion in pencil. The motion itself is simple – I am just asking for another month on the grounds that my attorney disappeared on me and I thought we were working towards a plea agreement. However, I feel compelled to write more – an addendum. This is where accessing the courts gets dangerous – very literally, speaking one’s mind in an American court in 2024 can be grounds for political reprogramming at a medical campus. I almost got caught by this in Dec 2023 because I pointed out some of the gross deficiencies in the system and accused my first attorney of being an unethical bag of shit – which he was. This time, however, I have learned that one must kiss the ass of the court, but, after having seen my particular judge in action, I am less hostile to him anyhow.

The problems I am encountering typify the new American lifestyle so deeply that most citizens no longer recognize this sort of degradation for the dehumanization it is. Rather, it is just life – it is just “the way of things” – much like slavery and the fact that women belong in the kitchen… oh wait, wrong century… thank god “the way of things” can change. It is my sincere hope that this new American normal of gross institutional dysfunction – where our social systems continue to fail society while everyone stands idly by and blames someone else (or no one in particular) and just shrugs it away – is not permanent.

The inability to use the attorney video link when it sits idle because “that is the rule” exemplifies the stupidity of “America-think” – and the societal paralysis that results. So in this case, kissing the judge’s ass a little because of concerns over the court’s fragile ego seems a small compromise if I can get the win of giving more voice to the reality of the court/detention situation faced by hundreds of thousands of my fellow citizens, and hidden behind the sick curtains of the “clear court record”

Unfortunately, I can not copy the motion at this time. It is hard enough to write using a small stubby pencil on a pad of paper perched on a folded blanket on my lap – but that is the best we are allowed in detention. The ink is dangerous to use and must be conserved – anyhow, ink writing can only be used in envelopes addressed to courts, which ought not be opened by the censors. That and I still need to rebuild by pen using my latest supply of labels.

The various submissions, including the ones from December, are linked below. These are public documents available in the docket via PACER. I hope to have full court transcripts up soon – those have taken months to get. Keep in mind, if it takes one or two days out there, it can take one or two months in here – such is the effect of isolation and the weaponization of our system in driving detainees into a “plea posture”. The absolute last thing that our courts want are aggressive citizens fighting for their rights. George Floyd’s murder captures the assault upon the citizenry in perfect relief – the jack boots of freedom are closer to your necks than you could even imagine. They are waiting in your county courthouse.

Eric Charles Welton
Prisoner #94911
Columbus County Detention Center
March 30, 2024

[email protected]

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